Dating and Crohn's
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Created by Stephen Doogan

Dating and Crohn's

 Does your condition affect your dating game? How does it affect your relationships?? Are people generally understanding of your condition? Would you prefer if they were more understanding?

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  • Tracy

    I just want to let all know out there that dating and having a good relationship with Crohn's is not only possible, but can be great too!



    I was married to a man who was wonderful when it came to my Crohn's. Patient, helpful, understanding, etc... We divorced after 13 yrs, but not because of my disease. I thought to myself, "I meet and date a lot of men, but how will I ever find another man who will treat me like my husband did when it comes to my Crohn's."



    Well, guess what? It didn't take long! I'm in an exclusive relationship with a fabulous man who accepts me unconditionally. I tell every man I date within the first two dates that I have Crohn's. I'm not the least bit ashamed. I do admit I'm a bit aprehensive when it comes to my scars. However, when we get to that point I just say it right aloud before it's even an issue. Men can feel them before they see them. I have never had ONE man turned off because of my scars. If I act like it's no big deal and just part of who I am, then they will as well... I've learned this to be true!



    Anyway, back to the man I'm with now. He goes to doctor appts with me, has been thru a few minor anal surgeries with me and has seen me with high fevers, excrutiating pain, and unable to go to the bathroom because of narrowing. He has been to  three colonoscopies so far. He truly has seen it all and I'm guessing we both still have more in store when it comes to this disease. There are GOOD men out there; do not except anyone in your life who can't or won't love you for who you are. Live with self-esteem always and it will reward you in ways you never expected!  Peace, Love and Good Health to all! 



     

    4 months ago

  • Courtney

    A positive spin on this nasty disease....I read in my Anatomy book the other day that only 5% of people are affected by autoimmune disease.  Only 5%!  That must mean we are some pretty unique and special people :)

    10 months ago

  • Courtney

    It isn't exactly "get to know you" conversation over dinner.  "So I have two sisters....and sometimes I have to go to the bathroom 12-15 times a day..."  It doesn't exactly flow :P  Personally, I recently had surgery so thankfully that isn't an issue for me at this point in time, but still have to deal with being swollen by the end of the day and the scars.  Also, like Teddy mentioned, the horrible side effects of Prednisone.  I gained about 40lbs when I was on it!  I think really no matter what point you are at in your disease and your treatment, it unfortunately is going to be an awkward conversation.  Though, I try to remind myself that eventually I'll find that person who can accept that part of me and not let it bother him.

    10 months ago

  • Teddy

    ['m a single senior  who is dating.  The hard part is deciding when to tell the "new" guy, and not being ashamed of your prednisone belly.  You can hide it by the way you dress, but naked is another thing.  So far I have been lucky in my relationships and having the man in my life be accepting.  The most embarrasing thing was on a date with a man I had been seeing for about 2 months.  We went to and outside venue and were walking around when suddenly I had to go to the bathroom.  By the time I'd made it into a stall I had had an accident.  Hard to clean up with other women in the rest room. Good thing there was plenty of toilet paper because I must have used two rolls.  Thank God I had on dark jeans. I wonder what he was thinking because I was gone so long.  I think I mumbeled something about how long the lines always are in the womens restroom. I'm always worried about having an accident when I'm out.  . 

    12 months ago

  • cath

    I totally agree with you Dawn, anybody would think that we had the plague. I have met anybody yet who understands that one minute you could be fine and with a few hours end up in A&E  on morphine due to a flare-up. They are such embarrasing illness`s too, although times have come on the word bowel is still just a dirty word stupid i know. I hope that you do find somebody and i hope for myself too because they need to have the patience of a saint and there are not many left out there like that lol.

    15 months ago

  • Dawn

    I'm starting to think that I am going to have to settle down with someone who has a chronic illness too.  I feel like a fraud presenting myself as someone who isn't significantly affected by chronic illness but who wants to date someone that is ill a large part of the time?

    21 months ago

  • Michael

    Dating with chrons is nothing. Try it with an illeostomy. I'm lucky I live in a big city like Seattle where all types exists. Dating with an illeostomy is the easy part. Telling your date about your body condition is a little harder. Getting intimate, now that's a story of it's own. I usually hang out or date (if that's what you call it) with down and outters, dwarfs, strays, gutter punks, and general riff rats. Because that's where I come from, so there's no expectations. Plus most of my friends, or friends of friends already know, or have known for a while. And there all messed up one way or another, due to abuse, addiction or mental imbalances, so it dosen't really matter as much as say in a normal type life style. I mean I have a 13yo son with a well know, world renowned scene girl. Comments, suggestion or other tid-bits accepted.

    24 months ago